Affection Is a Loose Term
by zealousfreak27
Summary: Sometimes no matter how hard you try to disconnect yourself from emotions, you just can't help loving the right people. Robin has a small problem: she's become ridiculously attached to her newest crew. She supposes this makes sense - they are quite ridiculous themselves. They've infected her somehow. And she can't help but feel like a mother to them all.
1. Endearing Foolishness

**AN/ This is going to be a series of one-shots that should serve as a character piece on Robin, written because she'd my favorite and I don't think she gets enough love. I'm really using this to get out my writer's block for another story (being funny is freaking hard), and to prove that I can write a decent **_**One Piece **_**story. Third time's the charm, right?**

**If you're looking for romance, you won't find it here.**

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><p>Joining the Straw Hat crew had been too easy.<p>

The rubber-boy - who was now Robin's captain - proved himself to be perfectly accepting, but from what she knew about his character, it didn't surprise her overly much. He did owe her gratitude, after all, given the times she had saved his life. She dismissed the time he saved her in the tomb as the help hadn't been wanted, which left him firmly in her debt.

Once he had allowed her to join his crew, there all signs of suspicion disappeared. He became amiable and treated her no differently than any of the other members of the pirates under his command. His behavior around her actually made Robin unnerved at times. Where were the dirty looks, the feeling that her captain could and would betray her at any moment? Robin had come to expect these things over the years, and the absence of them overturned how she dealt with authority, in turn making her far too comfortable in his presence.

The rest of the crew came across almost as accommodating as their captain, which was even more disorienting. Her previous spying on the Straw Hats came in handy, but she hadn't expected it to be so easy. Being female placed her in the favor of the cook automatically, and she'd had her wits about her enough to pilfer some of Crocodile's wealth, giving her an in to the good graces of the navigator. Within fifteen minutes, she already had half of the crew accepting her place among them.

Although the strangely fascinating long-nose and the sweet reindeer were skittish towards Robin, neither of them had any real reservations around her. The endearing attempt at interrogating her that the sniper had put on was the closest thing to misgivings that he'd shown. Despite his posturing, she could tell that the doctor was warming up to her quickly as well. It was a pity that Robin couldn't afford to show genuine feelings, because she felt that she could easily form an attachment to him. They would get used to her soon enough.

None of them had the proper fear around her, not even the wily navigator. Robin was the Devil's Child, with a 79,000,000 beli bounty, and they were perfectly relaxed around her as if she hadn't been their enemy only a few weeks before. Fools. They were naïve, trusting, pitiable fools. She found herself almost wishing they were like the usual pirates, plotting her demise under the smiles. In fact, a part of her remained sure of it.

The swordsman came as a welcome change, if only because she knew were she stood with him. Although naïve was much easier to manipulate than worldly, this crew's behavior was still something to adjust to, and, if she was honest with herself, made her feel a bit guilty. But the swordsman was suspicious of her every movement and didn't trust her in the least. She found his behavior comforting in its normality. But even he was not cruel or spiteful towards her. Upon more observation, she realized that the swordsman's hostility sprung from protective instincts: he saw her as a danger to his friends. This side to his character surprised her further.

It was sweet really, but equally frustrating. These _pirates _shouldn't be able to threaten her carefully formed view of the world and the sick people who populated it.


	2. Upon the Dropping of Eaves

Robin didn't want to know what her "Nakama" were saying about her. An inbred part of Robin that was sure that they were plotting to hand her over to the marines or otherwise betray her. Although she didn't want to face it, she knew that her current situation was all too good to be true. She couldn't allow herself to become an idealist, even if would have wanted that for her. She wished that these were the Nakama that Saul had spoken about, but the reality had shown her that trusting the goodness of others never lead to good results. In the safety of her mind, she didn't even allow that the Straw Hats were good people; in the face of any danger, they'd betray her in a heartbeat.

Observing the goings on around her was an usual practice for Robin, as she had learned through years of experience that to keep herself safe he had to stay aware. Her powers and actual enjoyment of understanding kept this from being an entirely terrible process, though she couldn't describe how tired she was of facing the dark thoughts of others. No matter how kind any group seemed, she inevitably found they had designs against her, leaving her wondering if it was the everyone else or herself that was so worthless.

However, the Straw Hats proved themselves to be a different case, in that she never stopped being entertained by them. Most of the conversations she eavesdropped upon followed the same pattern as those she was present for. The interactions were comically written in stone. Miss Navigator peppered her dealings with her temper, and Mr. Swordsman and Mr. Cook perpetually fought in an interesting brotherly relationship, the Long-Nose boy told his stories, and the little doctor made adorable attempts at hiding his emotions. It was only rarely that she caught serious discussions between the crew.

She once overheard a fascinating conversation between Zoro and Usopp. Robin was sitting across the deck from where the interaction took place, but growing an ear was simple enough to allow her to overhear the talk between the two.

Their talk was instigated when Zoro was woken up from a midday nap to see the sniper endeavoring to lift one of the massive weights the swordsman used. Usopp was straining against the mass when Zoro asked him what was wrong. Usopp had replied that he was recovering from a lose-all-your-incredibly-thick-muscles-disease and was just testing them out on these light weights.

Zoro had looked squarely at the younger man and told him that if he wanted to use some of the lighter ones he could try the cabinet in the men's courters. Usopp surprised Robin by not telling any tall tales and simply sighing and saying that he _would_ like to get stronger sometime.

Zoro outputted no empty clichés such as "true strength lies within" or "everyone has different strengths." He gave him a steady look that Usopp didn't shy away from and said that Usopp should do "whatever he liked."

Although not many words were spoken between the two of them, it still felt to Robin that enough had been communicated. The whole crew was interesting to watch, in fact, whether they meant to be or not.

One night, Nami had woken up screaming from a nightmare. Robin had been awake already, but pretended to be asleep. She'd felt oddly like she should've comforted the distraught girl, but she didn't know what to say.

Once the girl had calmed, she left the room to get fresh air. Robin grew eyes and watched her progress to the galley.

It had only been an hour until daybreak at the time, and Sanji was already awake preparing breakfast. When Nami had come into the galley, clearly not herself, the cook shockingly hadn't gone into raptures and started flirting. He'd lovingly made Nami a cup of tea and sat next to her quietly while she recovered her composure. There had been no flirting or perverted thoughts, only silent support. Nami had calmed down quickly and gave Sanji a bright smile.

That _had _sent Sanji into ecstasy, and he'd woken up several of the others with his loud proclamations of love.

Robin had been surprised at the boy's kindness. She had at first mistaken him for a womanizer, but she'd been wrong. He was a romantic who truly believed that women were the superior sex and they were sacred to him. While Robin wasn't sure she saw the logic behind that, she wasn't one to dissuade others from their mindsets.

Nami too she'd misjudged. She often seemed to be hardhearted and greedy, but she obviously cared for the rest of her crew. Robin was able to piece together bits of the navigator's past, and it was clear that the girl had been knocked around by fate, but she had found her place among this crew. Robin tried not to envy Nami for her happiness; she knew that she could never truly be one of them.

Still, she learned more and more about them each day. All the crew members were parental at times to the little doctor. It was impossible not to like him, even for Robin. There was something about him that simply begged to be protected. And he had his own protective instinct; he was the doctor after all. Robin loved to listen to his fussing over his friends.

But mostly the crew had light-hearted discussions and scuffles. Every word that passed between them was comfortable and familiar, almost as if they were all a family.

She determined that it was Luffy who created this element. No deviousness could possibly exist within him, and he generated a desire in others to try to impress him. Robin knew that despite his seeming incompetence at times, he truly embodied a great leader. There was a charisma and power hidden in his happy attitude and silly actions that drew people to him and gained their trust.

In all her observations, two things had occurred to Robin. First, she had along the way abandoned her standing that they were not good people. Because they _were_. She still knew that they would abandon her if they realized how much of a burden she was, but it would be a choice of necessity, not glee. They cared for one another and had a strong sense of empathy that she knew she could rely on. She'd only been travelling with them for a few weeks with no incident, but she could easily say that they were not malicious or cruel in any way.

Secondly, Robin realized she had forgotten her objective of finding out what they thought of her and what they planned on doing to her. She was engrossed in the dynamics of the crew, so the day that she did overhear a conversation regarding her, she settled back to hear it with apprehension.

She had left the dinner table early one night because the flying food was threatening a very nice tome of Chopper's that she was enjoying. Although it was medical, it was of interest of her because it chronicled the horrible affects of famine on several counties in the Blues, and Robin was finding it fascinating.

She had retired to her room to continue her book and grew an ear in the corner of the kitchen almost as an afterthought.

They began to talk about her when Sanji said how beautifully distracted Miss Robin had been at dinner tonight. Robin straightened her back uneasily and put her book down. For all she knew, this conversation would mean she would have to leave the crew at the next island.

in response to Sanji's soliloquy, Zoro grumbled, "Damn shifty woman."

"Don't talk that way about any woman, especially Miss Robin!" Ah, Sanji, the one she knew she could rely on always.

"She has been acting strange." This was from Usopp.

"What do you mean by that? If by strange, you mean beautiful, charming, and intelligent, then yes, Miss Robin has been acting _strange_." Sanji again.

"All I meant is that she doesn't talk very much and reads all the time, but I sometimes feel like she's… observing me," Usopp's voice returned. He was smarter than she gave him credit for.

"Oi, oi, oi, what are you implying, shitty long-nose?"

"Don't take everything pervertedly, love-cook," Zoro interjected.

Before a fight could break out between them, Nami spoke up. Although she wasn't there, Robin could imagine how Nami moved her body to distract Sanji. "What _did _you mean, Usopp?"

"I don't know really. She just makes me nervous sometimes."

"Why?" Luffy asked suddenly.

She pictured how uncomfortable Usopp looked and wanted to see, but decided that and eye in the room might draw too much attention. "She… um… laughs at my stories weirdly?"

Luffy didn't laugh or even smile by the tone of his voice as he said, "What about her makes you nervous?"

"I don't know. Forget I said anything."

Robin wasn't sure how to take this. None of them were badmouthing her (with the exception of Zoro, but he'd do that to her face) nor were they planning on throwing her off their ship. Usopp seemed to be voicing some doubts about her character, but even that was not particularly hostile. Did they really have no reservations about her at all?

"I think that Robin is really nice. Did you know she bought me cotton candy on that last island we landed on? And she likes books and lets me read hers sometimes. She's really smart and cool." This was Chopper, bless his little heart. He sounded like a child despite his fair amounts of intelligence and medical expertise.

"Yeah, Robin's great! She's really smart and funny. The other day she was reading and I told her that books were boring and that she should play more. But the next day she had a poppy book for me to read and she told me to read it, so I did. And then a kangaroot jumped out! It was a mystery book! So I told her that only most books were boring."

Robin chuckled. Leave it to Luffy to make the simple mechanics of a pop-up book a mystery.

Luffy continued, "And all of you know she's a nakama, right? So we don't have to worry about her or be nervous." There was an unspoken challenge in Luffy's voice and it drew affirmations of varying enthusiasm from the crew, from Sanji's declarations that he would trust her with his life to Zoro's reluctant grunt.

After that the dinner dragged on long enough and the usual fights over who'd clean the dishes broke out, along with Usopp trying to talk his way out of watch.

Robin dissolved her ear and tried to turn her concentration back to her book, but it was proving to be difficult. She had much to think about.

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><p><strong>AN Y'all, I have such a hard time writing Luffy. I don't even know.**

**The first time I proofread this, I found that I had typed this unconsciously: **Sanji was already awake preparing breakfast like a good bitch. **It's because of my parody, I swear. IMMA girl, please don't get all feminist and flame me!**


	3. The Comedy of Kindness

Robin never could have predicted a ship falling from the sky.

That phenomenon had led to an experience of a life time. Robin had never understood the craze of the current age regarding the exalted concept of 'adventure' until she'd met the Straw Hats.

Many pirates viewed the Grandline as a trial to be rushed through and conquered without risking anything further, seeing it as dangerous enough without seeking trouble. The Straw Hat's approached the sea in the exact opposite manner, probably because there was too much logic in the usual method. Although Luffy's goal was to be the Pirate King, Robin suspected that he was one of those romantics who would say that the journey is more fulfilling than the reward at the end.

And thus she was flung along with the others into the insanity that had been Skypiea, an adventure that most crews would never dream of.

Seeing the Strawhats in action herself was quite different than reading reports to Crocodile in a quiet room. She understood that Luffy was fearsome in battle, but from observation the entire crew managed to hold their own in battle. Not that Robin had had much time to observe. No, she'd been fighting for her life for most of their time in Skypiea.

All of her experiences were blurred together in her memories. She had found the ancient city of gold, killed a man, discovered a Poneglyph and been been both disappointed and encouraged by it, and almost met her end on several occasions. Overall, it had been a hair-raising way to spend a few days.

The Straw Hats never ceased to surprise her. After saving an entire island from total destruction, they still thought taking treasure from the intestinal tract of a snake counted as "stealing and plundering" and that they ought to leave quickly because the islanders were likely to be angry. And they thought the gold the Skypieans were offering them out of gratitude was a cannon. What a farce!

Robin wondered if they even counted as pirates. Although it seemed they did their share of treasure hunting, they did not engage in the acts most would describe as piracy. As far as she could gather, they traversed the Grandline doing nothing but operations of pure charity. They weren't saints, certainly; they usually had an ulterior motive for their good deeds. In Alabasta, they wanted to help the princess, and here Luffy wanted Mr. Cricket to hear the bell and know that Skypiea existed. And yet thousands of lives were saved in the process.

Now that the adventure had ended, the crew were finally able to relax. In an instant, the serious, strong-willed crew disappeared, and back came the fun-loving, silly group. They really would make for the study of a lifetime. It was a pity she had to leave them soon.

And leave she must, though she thought the act would be difficult. It saddened her to think that they might miss her if she simply vanished in the middle of the night, but they would get over it soon enough. She had to leave before they betrayed her, or – and this seemed the most likely – they reluctantly asked her to leave, having realized the burden she carried with her. Now that she knew the sort of people they were, she accepted she would never have a place among them, and eventually the contrast would cause pain on both sides. Leaving without saying goodbye was the best way, she reasoned. The cleaner the break the faster it heals, wasn't that what they said?

_I'll leave soon, _she thought. _Just not quite yet._


	4. To Play Is To Live

**AN/ Okay, I really thought I wasn't going to do this, but - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE OKAY IT'LL TAKE YOU LIKE TWO SECONDS JUST DO IT.**

**I'm done review whoring. Have some fluff!**

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><p>"Robiiinnnn! Plaayyy wiithh ussss!"<p>

Robin glanced up from her book only to meet three pleading pairs of eyes. Not that she'd needed visual confirmation - she wouldn't expect this request to come from anyone other than Luffy, Chopper and Usopp.

When she hesitated, Usopp said, "Come on Robin! We wanna have fun but we need another person to play this game. You're worse than Zoro! You need to enjoy yourself more. Why, I once discovered a disease that comes solely from inactivity!"

"Really, Usopp? I never heard of that disease in my medical studies!" Chopper's eyes started to shine, excitedly waiting for Usopp to elaborate about this ailment.

"Yes, it's called lethargicacidice. I once saved an entire village of sloths from this horrible sickness!"

"Really? That's so cool!"

"Ah, so it's a mystery disease," Luffy said dimly.

This discourse probably would have continued in the same way if the three hadn't been interrupted by a chuckle from Robin, returning their attention to the topic at hand. "Please play with us Robin," said Luffy. "You never have any fun!"

Robin looked into Luffy's eyes and thought of a thousand things she could say, the many excuses she could make. She was tired today, maybe she'd play tomorrow. Couldn't they see she was trying to read? She shouldn't play with them, not when she had to leave them so soon. There was no point in hurting herself by seeing what life would be life if she could trust and belong with the Strawhats.

But in the end there was really only one good answer. "Of course I'll play with you."

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><p>"Robin played with us today!" Luffy said between mouthfuls of food at dinner that night.<p>

"Oh? Did you really, Robin?" asked Nami.

Before she could say anything, Usopp said, "Yep! We played a game I invented called 'Tag the Base' and it would have been really fun if Robin hadn't _cheated_!"

Again before Robin could get a word in edgewise, Chopper said indignantly, "Robin didn't cheat! You never said that she couldn't use her Devil Fruit."

This time Robin spoke over Usopp's protests that it wasn't fair and Sanji's angry proclamations to Usopp that he shouldn't be so rude to a lady. "Thank you for defending me, Mr. Doctor."

It appeared that the reindeer turned red under all his fur. "Shut up! I don't want your thanks, bitch!" He was dancing in happiness as he said this. He'd have to forgive Robin if she wasn't convinced of his outrage.

Robin noticed that Sanji said nothing accusatory towards Chopper for his insult to her, probably because he knew that the little doctor didn't mean it. Very amused, she said, "It _was_ sweet of you, Mr. Doctor, but if you like I can retract my thanks."

Chopper looked even more pleased. "Don't think that your flattery will please me, you temptress!"

"So, did you have fun?" interrupted Nami.

"Yeah! Usopp's really good at making up games. But I still don't get how the rules worked…" Luffy trailed off.

"Idiot! Who was asking to you? I was talking to Robin."

"I enjoyed myself, yes."

"You can play with me any time, Miss Robin!" The poor cook's attempts at wooing her were too entertaining, she thought to herself.

"I'll keep that in mind, Mr. Cook."

"Oh, Miss Robin, you are the embodiment of kindness and grace! Your beauty is like the sun shining on the dew on lilies in the morning!" Sanji continued to spew forth romantic talk for several minutes while Luffy shoveled food in his mouth and Chopper asked Usopp why Sanji always talked to women like that. Sadly, Robin never got to hear the boy's answer, which she was sure would be endlessly amusing.

Sanji suddenly stopped his tirade and looked about the room in confusion. Robin decided that he was puzzled because he had never gotten interrupted by a snarky comment from the swordsman. Both Robin and Sanji found the reason why at the same time and had very different reactions.

Robin started to laugh and Sanji yelled, "How dare you, you shitty swordsman! Fall asleep in my food will you? Damnit, wake up!"

For indeed, Zoro had fallen asleep into his food. Robin was fairly sure that this was a result of the intense training the boy had been putting himself through.

Luffy was laughing ("Ha, that's just like Ace!") and from there the dinner per usual dissolved into the normal fights and raucous behavior.

Later that night, Robin tried to sleep, but found she couldn't. She felt that she had known the Straw Hat pirates her entire life. Leaving them would not be easy.

She fell asleep with Saul's words echoing in her ears.


	5. Midnight Story, Marimo, Shared Orange

Robin sipped her coffee and turned her book, _The Memoirs of Noir Frell_, to its next page. The coffee was good; Mr. Cook knew how she liked it and it helped her mind to stay active during her watch.

She scanned the new page, engrossed by the life of the man the book was about. He was a mighty warrior in his time, but he was not merely muscles. He was also a great philosopher and leader of men who -

Suddenly, a loud snapping noise echoed across the quiet expanse of the ship and Robin was immediately on guard. Robin's fight or flight instincts were sharper than most, and when the loud sound hit her ears she was immediately ready for action. She blew out her candle and searched for the source of sound.

It had come from the direction of the galley. Robin thought quickly and decided that the best course of action was scoping out the situation and then getting help if the sound had actually been caused by anything that could pose as a threat to her crewmates.

She grew an ear on the kitchen refrigerator and listened carefully. The sound of struggling and cursing from a familiar voice was what reached her ear. _Ah... Luffy is up for a nighttime snack I see_, she thought, feeling relieved and playful_. I may as well go free him before Sanji is woken up.  
><em>  
>She relit her candle with the box of matches Sanji had given her chivalrously, and grew a dozen hands to carry the candle down from the crow's nest for her while she climbed down herself.<p>

After crossing the deck with her candle, she opened the galley door, calling, "Mr. Captain?"

"Oh, Robin, it's just you. Lucky! I thought it was Sanji. Can you let me out? I'm trying to get at that really good fish I caught yesterday! I caught it, and I told Sanji I should be able to eat it whenever I want, but he wouldn't listen. He's so mean!" Luffy pouted as Robin released him from the mousetrap that Sanji knew the captain would fall for time and time again.

"Yes, he may seem cruel at times, Mr. Captain. But he doesn't want us to starve. He's just doing his job."

"Yeah, but I want to eat!" There was really no arguing with him, Robin thought resignedly.

"Luffy, you need to go back to sleep now," Robin said as firmly as possible, though it was probably an exercise in futility.

"But Rooobiiiinn! I don't waaannnaa!" Luffy gave her a pathetic look that even made Nami capitulate at times. Robin felt like she could use the navigator at the moment; she really didn't know how to handle Luffy when he was like this. If he started crying she might have to give him his meat. She supposed the cook would forgive her... No, that was sentimental.

"I could read to you if you like," Robin compromised.

"Only if it's an exciting book," Luffy said. Well, she had offered, and after all, he was the captain.

...

When Zoro managed to rouse himself for his watch, he was surprised to find the crow's nest empty. Suspicious, he went in search of Robin and was surprised to find her reading quietly with a sleeping Luffy curled at her feet.

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><p>"Oh dear." That was honestly the only reaction Robin could muster.<p>

In all her travels, she never had seen a marimo. She knew that they were an aquatic plant and that they were considered a treasure to some civilizations, but she had never encountered one until today.

They had landed on a spring island and Nami had informed them it would only take about a day for the log pose to set. Robin had gone out to shop at a market, hoping to find something of historical value, and had instead found a small stall that was selling the very plant that the swordsman of the Going Merry was referred to as by a certain cook.

Robin felt the corners of her mouth twitching and let her expression become a full smile. The marimo did look remarkably like the back of Zoro's head. She was further amused and laughed out loud at the thought of buying it and giving it to Sanji. But the marimo was selling for a high price that Robin could not afford. That knowledge led her to imagine the navigator seeing their price and trying to sell Zoro off to a passerby as a marimo. She smiled wider.

...

The entire Strawhat crew met back at the ship on time. Surprisingly, none of them had run into trouble on the island, most likely because Luffy had been able to eat free meat samples all day at the market and Zoro had stayed to guard the ship and thus had not gotten lost.

When Robin arrived at the ship, she nodded casually at her crewmates and headed towards the cabin where Nami was finishing the map of the island. Walking on auto-pilot, she bumped into the swordsman who was wakking the opposite way.

"Sorry," he grunted.

Robin looked at him and couldn't keep at small laugh from escaping her lips. She could so easily imagine his hair taking on a more... mossy quality. "That's alright, marimo," she said before she could stop herself.

Zoro started to say something, froze, closed his mouth and stared after her as she walked gracefully into the navigator's cabin.

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><p>Robin sipped on her drink, marvelling at the subtle flavor that bespoke of remarkable skill. The cook truly was a talented boy - one who was more than willing to provide herself and Miss Navigator with snacks all day.<p>

It was very flavorful and Robin knew he took care to include the tastes he knew she would enjoy. Distracted from her book by her musings, Robin glanced at the orange trees that were at back of her and Nami as they lay in the sun. She knew that Sanji never used the sacred oranges for cooking: even if he didn't hold women in such high esteem, it was unlikely that he would survive the torrent of anger Nami would exert if her precious fruit was touched.

Robin wondered at this occasionally. As an archeologist, she was interested in history in all of its forms. Her observations of the crew in general made pieces of their pasts obvious to her, and she knew that Nami had a meaningful link to oranges in her past, specifically the ones on the ship.

The navigator certainly was an interesting person. She showed her affection through a heavy sort of tough love and hid her deep care for her nakama most of the time. Perhaps Robin alone noticed the fond looks she bestowed upon the rest of the crew when she thought no one was looking.

Robin broke her reverie and turned her attention back to her book. She read for several minutes until she noticed an orange fall off one of the trees. With her previous thoughts still fresh in her mind, she whispered, "Une fleur," and used the newly grown arm to grab the ripe fruit and tossed it in her body's direction. Catching it, she said, "Miss Navigator, it appears that one of your oranges has fallen. Would you like to eat it, or plant it?"

Nami looked up. "Nah, I'm too lazy for that right now. I could call Sanji to plant it... No, I'll just eat it. I don't feel like dealing with him right now."

Robin handed the fruit to the navigator and started to read again. Robin was surpised when Nami split the orange in half and gave the other half to her. "Share it with me."

Robin looked at the proffered piece of fruit and felt unexpectedly touched. The fruit was a symbol of something - whatever it was, it was important to Nami. Being offered this was a sign of true acceptance, and Robin was apprehensive of taking it. So far she had tried to keep her distance from the Strawhats, on the outside at least, and this would be to her a physical sign of her connection to the Strawhat pirates.

But Nami was looking at her with friendly eyes, so Robin gratefully accepted the portion of fruit. She ignored the part of her mind that told her there was no reason to break her own heart by becoming attached to the crew before she had to leave them.

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><p><strong>AN Sorry it's been awhile. I was out of town most of the time. Expect the next set of interactions (Usopp, Sanji, Chopper) soonish.**

**Um, I'm going to go ahead and ask. Anyone want to beta for me?That'd be cool and stuff. *Feels awkward***

**I have to ask, did the Zoro one make anyone else laugh? It made me laugh.**

**The ONLY Japanese word I will EVER use is nakama, and only because I think that there's no suitable replacement in English and it just sounds so good. 'Friend' just sounds wrong.**


	6. Morbid Reasoning, Headache, the Catch

It was a warm day, but that didn't stop Zoro from continuing his heavy training. It was truly impressive that the boy could perform such difficult tasks with ease. He was swinging a bar loaded with huge weights stacked on its end, his muscles bugling.

His swinging of the bar was causing wind that reached Robin where she stood a good distance away. It was so hot that the reindeer doctor had been complaining about the heat all day. He had found a nice resting place nearby the swordsman; the breeze from the weights passing over his head, cooling him.

Robin was suddenly struck by the safety hazard this caused. "If Mr. Swordsman drops that weight, Mr. Doctor will probably die," she said factually.

"Robin!" Robin turned and realized that Usopp had walked up behind her. "Don't say things like that!" he said.

"But it's the truth, Mr. Long Nose."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to say it out loud! Keep it to yourself!"

Robin looked him in the eyes. The trait he was exhibiting was not one she had ever understood in other people. She could not comprehend why anyone would be uncomfortable with the truth. Robin had spent her life in pursuit of it - the truth was pure, and could be hard and unforgiving, but she knew it was better to face it head on. Since she had an opportunity to ask someone why they didn't see the same way she did, she asked him "Why?"

"Because… It just makes me nervous, okay? I don't want to think about Chopper getting hurt!" Ah, so it was sentiment. Emotion often clouded the mind and robbed a person of logic, though now that she thought of it, she did not want to think of Chopper hurt either. He paused, and then asked, "Why do you always say things like that?"

Robin was about to answer that it was the truth again, but stopped and actually gave the question some thought. After considering for several moments, she said, "I… suppose that it helps me to stay unattached to the happenings around me."

Usopp leaned back against the railing and took out a notebook. "Ah," he said, scribbling some note, "so you try to stay unattached to your surroundings, do you? What could be the cause of that?"

What was he trying to do, interrogate her? Or be her psychiatrist? He never ceased to amuse her.

"Let's talk about you, Mr. Long Nose," she said, changing the subject with a teasing smile. "Do you think you lie to hide a basic insecurity? Tell me about your childhood."

"Rooobbiinnn!"

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><p>Nico Robin had not had a headache in years. They made her uncharacteristically irritable and emotional.<p>

She had one today.

To make matters worse, the silly cook simply wouldn't leave her alone!

That night at dinner, she had offered to wash the dishes, but the cook immediately and _loudly _volunteered to do them for her. When she protested, he, again _loudly_, stated that no woman would be made to clean on his watch and proclaimed that Robin was the epitome of beauty and therefore should not be made to work.

It had all been so overwhelming and her head hurt so badly that she'd shouted at him and told him that she'd just do it herself. Aware that she got strange looks from the crew sans Luffy as they left the kitchen, she had gotten straight to work on the dishes.

Only later did she feel guilty. She realized that the poor cook had simply been trying his notion of chivalrous and that she shouldn't have lost her temper with him. In fact, her emotions had been entirely too out of control lately. The Strawhats were affecting her in more ways than she cared to admit.

Robin couldn't sleep that night and rose from her bed. It was not even midnight yet and she headed to the galley hoping to find the cook there. She was not surprised that her hope was fulfilled - Sanji, when alone, was either found outside, smoking and looking out at the sea or in the galley, taking comfort in familiar surroundings.

The cook saw her and turned to face her, looking as though he'd been upset. Before he could say anything, she raised her hand and said, "Sanji. I have to apologize. I shouldn't have shouted at you."

Sanji froze at the use of his casual name and several emotions flitted across his face. She was surprised at his restraint in not flinging himself at her feet. "No, Miss Robin, don't apologize. I was actually planning to do the same for you tomorrow at breakfast. I'm sorry I upset you, Miss Robin."

He looked at her uncertainly and waited for her response. It pulled at her heartstrings. "Mr. Cook, there's no reason for you to apologize." When he tried to interrupt her, she said, "But I'm sure you don't want to hear me expand upon how I was at fault. How about this: I'll accept your apology if you accept mine."

"Of course, Miss Robin! I'd forgive you for anything!"

Sanji nearly passed out when Robin bestowed him with a content smile. "Now," she said, "please make me something to get rid of my headache, so we don't have any repeats of the incident."

Robin's smile stayed on her face the entire time that Sanji made her willow steeped tea and Sanji thoughtfully kept the flirting to a minimal.

* * *

><p>"Robin, catch!"<p>

Robin lazily grew an arm to catch the ball that Chopper had thrown in her direction.

It was a nice day and Chopper had managed to convince Robin to play catch with him on the stern of the Going Merry.

Feeling playful, she threw the ball higher than she knew he could reach in his current small form, think that he would grow to his large man-beast form. Instead, he attempted to jump and catch the ball with his hoof.

Chopper's jump carried him up and he landed on the railing that he had been standing next to in order to catch the ball. He caught it, smiling at Robin. "Did you see that, Robin!" he said proudly, not seeming aware of his precarious position.

"Chopper!" she shouted, her protective instincts firing up. "Get off the railing!"

Chopper looked behind him, suddenly realizing how close he was to falling into the ocean. "Waaa!" He wobbled dangerously on the edge and his eyes met Robin's for an instant. And then he fell off the ship.

Robin scarcely had time to think. She couldn't swim and none of their crewmates were around - the situation was urgent.

She grew twenty hands on the outside of the ship and tried to form a net with them. She was relieved when she felt a small, furry body fall into her hands.

Robin ran over to the railing and looked down to see the little doctor crying in her net, but unharmed. She hauled him up with her arms and placed him, shaking, on the deck.

They both caught their breaths and Chopper started to cry in earnest. Robin was not sure how to react. What was one supposed to do in such situations?

She reached over and patted the reindeer's, now wet from the sea spray, hat, feeling awkward and not in the least comforting.

Chopper looked up and cried, "Robin! You saved me!" and charged at her in his man-beast form pulling her into a wet and snotty hug. She didn't mind.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Willow steeped tea is really good for headaches. When moose (meese, moosen, mooses) are growing their horns, they eat willow trees to keep it from hurting too badly. Aspirin has willow in it.**

**Where were the rest of the Strawhats in the last one, you ask? Swallowed by a plot-hole of course.**


	7. It's Been a Long, Cold, Lonely Winter

It was cold. That was what she noticed first - she was cold. There was warmth all around her, though; she could feel warm water dripping out of her hair onto her face. She was completely soaked. From what she could tell without opening her eyes, she was in a bathtub. She wondered idly why she was bathing in her clothes. Everything was so very... tiring.

If she was submerged in warm water, why was she so cold? Was the cold coming from her?

Then it all came back to her. Her eyes flew open. _Kuzan_. He'd - he'd attacked her, and her crew, the monster from her childhood, return to haunt her. What had happened after he'd frozen her? How was she still alive?

She struggled to sit up in the bathtub, but Chopper, who she deduced was tending to her, noticed and said, "Robin, just stay still! I promise you'll be okay!"

Her eyes widened when she saw him pulling an unconscious Luffy over to the edge of the tub. He moved Robin a bit, mumbling reassuringly to her all the while. "It'll be okay, Robin. Your heart is beating now, and if yours is, I'm sure Luffy's will too. See, I'm just moving you a bit so Luffy can get under the water."

Robin made no reply to this, but inside her heart was racing from knowing Luffy's wasn't.

When Kuzan had shown up unexpectedly, it had taken all of her willpower not to run. And normally, she would have done just that, leaving behind her so called "Nakama" to their possible doom. But this time had been different, and the difference was the Strawhats.

The Strawhats were confident in their abilities, but they had never met an admiral. The image of Saul's dying face was burned in her mind and she didn't want her crewmates dying faces to be a part of her memories as well. She might as well face it - she'd completely given herself to the Strawhats; that she could not abandon them was enough proof.

Instead of running, she had tried to draw Kuzan's attention from her crewmates, to the point of trying to fight him. It had almost been easy to ignore her fear after his remarks about her imminent betrayal of her crewmates. Not only had it made her angry, it had also made her afraid the words would take root.

But the only response to his warnings had been Luffy pronouncing that he would "kick his ass" for saying deprecating things about his crewmate. Robin had been touched that the boy would fight an admiral on her behalf, and the others had made proclamations of her goodness as well. Luffy's reward for defending her was being defeated, and Robin felt an ache in her chest - he was such a good young man, and she was repaying his kindness with selfishness,

As she was frozen, she had only been able to hope that they would get away safely. Seeing Luffy frozen as she was sent her into a panic. Robin was freezing, figuratively and literally. What had happened while she was frozen? Had any of the others been harmed?

A part of her that she hadn't allowed for years came to life at that moment. Protective instincts that were normally reserved for her own person activated and she was almost physically sick with worry. Luffy was frozen, Chopper was frantic, and she didn't even know about the others. And it was her fault.

Although not everything accusatory that Kuzan had said to her was true, Robin still felt the full force of his words. She _was_ using the Strawhats for protection from the World Government, and she _was_ endangering them. They had done nothing but be accepting of her, treating her as own of their own, and her presence was destroying them. Two conflicting sides raged within her: the selfish one that wanted to stay with the Strawhats, and the one that wanted to keep them safe by leaving.

When she had regained control over her jaw muscles, she immediately asked Chopper about the state of the rest of the crew. When he replied that everyone else was okay, the relief was almost a tangible force.

She collapsed against the back of the tub and tried to not lose consciousness. It was a losing battle, and the last thing she saw before she passed out was her captain's face, blue with cold.

* * *

><p>"Robin…? Robin, I'm going to change your clothes."<p>

Robin heard the navigator's voice and tried to speak. "No… no, don't trouble yourself. I can do it."

"Oh, okay." Nami had an awkward look on her face when Robin opened her eyes. "Sorry. Chopper just said that you needed dry clothes, and of course Sanji volunteered, but I figured you'd rather have me do it."

"Thank you, Miss Navigator, but I think I can probably handle it myself." Robin sat up and saw that she'd been moved to the girls' cabin.

"Here's your clothes," Nami said. Robin started to change into the comfortable clothes while Nami chattered on. "Luffy's okay. Chopper has him in the galley so he can keep an eye on him. Once you're done changing, you should move in there too, okay? Doctor's orders. You know how he gets when we don't listen to him."

Robin giggled weakly, which quickly turned into a coughing fit. She collapsed back against the bed, completely spent. "Robin!" Nami screamed, and then opened the door to call Chopper.

Chopper and Nami half dragged, half carried her to the galley, supporting her weight between them. When they got there, Chopper laid her on a makeshift bed next to Luffy.

She was quickly warmed and was confined by Chopper to the galley for the rest of the day. She gathered from her crewmates that Luffy had tried to fight Kuzan, or Aokiji as they called him. She still didn't understand the man, or why he had spared Luffy's life.

Sanji prepared a drink for her. It had coffee in it, but there was also chocolate and a few things that she didn't recognize, but it tasted delicious. The rest of the crew ate at the table while she and Luffy were served at their beds, resulting in Luffy's cot having to be changed after dinner. If Robin weren't so fond of him, she would be tempted to call him disgusting.

Watching the crew, she saw no large changes in behavior, at least nothing that bothered her. They all acted worried towards her and Luffy, as if they might break. Considering that this had been a concern only a few hours before, it was completely understandable.

She noticed a few dark looks from the swordsman, but she didn't consider them to be hostile; they were more brooding. In Skypiea and again with Kuzan, he had jumped to her defense. He was suspicious of her, certainly, but she was beginning to believe that he accepted her as a crewmate as well.

Eventually it was decided that everyone would sleep in the galley that night. The rest of the crew who didn't have cots found various places to sprawl out in the galley. Soon the only one who wasn't sleeping was Robin. She lay awake, not even attempting to join them in slumber. Never had she felt more attached to the Strawhats, and never had she felt more that she ought to leave.

During the night, she heard Luffy whimpering in a way that might amuse her if not for the events of the day. Deciding he must be having a nightmare, she gently woke him. He whispered, "Robin?" into the darkness, and she felt her heart clench.

"Yes Luffy?" she replied.

"You're okay," he stated. "Good." Stretching his arms, he gave her a hug. It was an awkward one (there was no body for Robin to hug back), but she compensated by growing an arm and patting him on the head.

"Yes… I'm alright, Luffy. Go to sleep."

* * *

><p><strong>AN I figured out how to do line breaks! PARTY!**

**School is getting frantic for me, and I'm also working on another fic and planning on starting a new one. I'm sorry, but the updates are going to be slow for awhile. Please don't rush me; you make me feel guilty.**


	8. Darkness Held Illimitable Domain

**AN/ OMG it's been forever. Needless to say I'm sorry. A lot's been going on for me. (Heart surgery, for example. Don't worry I'm fine. Also school.) Anyway, I'm back. If you've noticed, I've fixed the summary up; it kinda sucked.**

* * *

><p>Robin had learned years ago that life wasn't fair. She thought occasionally that perhaps things should be unfair to her advantage once and awhile, but she supposed that was just another level of unfairness in an ugly, ugly world.<p>

This knowledge didn't make her want to scream with frustration any less. Because there was no justice in her life. She wondered if this was the world's response for the recent happiness she'd found with the Strawhats: to rip it away. She wished that there was a god that she could blame for this.

It only took three syllables to ruin everything that was good in her life. One minute she was smiling and ready to investigate the history of the city with Chopper and the next she was forming a plan of action. She couldn't run, that was out of the question. Leaving by herself would destroy her unsuspecting crewmates, and she doubted she'd make it away in time with them. Besides, how long would it be before they decided she was too much trouble? Beofre they realized she brought trouble and pain in her wake?

Even though she knew what this would mean for her, she simply couldn't see her friends ripped apart like her home and family had been. It was half in a daze that she made her deal with the World Government. She negotiated without much life, already surrendered, willing to do anything to protect her crew. She'd never imagined that she even would make a deal with these scum, but it was worth it. By god it was. The thought of any of her crewmates being hurt was intolerable. She couldn't have loved them more if they were her own flesh and blood. The very words Buster Call were enough to make her shrink in fear; when applied to her friends, they were paralyzing.

Still, her life was coming to an end soon - she had sold herself. There were two things to blame in the end. One was the World Government. She hadn't thought it was possible to hate it more than she already did. They were a plague on the world and her life. The second was herself. Her selfishness was the reason this had happened after all. Her Nakama were in danger now because she hadn't been able to let them go, and now she would pay for it.

And therefore it wasn't very hard a decision to make, to turn herself in for them. It did hurt that she had to make the appearance of betraying her nakama. She did the CP9's bidding, wore their clothes and their mask. She shot a man in cold blood and couldn't bring herself to feel guilty. She'd do anything to keep them safe.

She had to say goodbye. There was really no away around that. She completely reigned in her emotions as she said goodbye to Sanji and Chopper. They were so shocked that it hurt her a little. They trusted her so and now they thought she didn't return the sentiment. But it was how things had to be.

She was even given a small chance to say goodbye to Luffy, which was painful but still a gift. His screams echoed in her head afterwards. It was only because of years of experience that she was able to ignore her frustration and saddness and let nothing show as her Nakama were thrown around.

She wanted to break Lucci's neck. She imagined killing him, fantasized about growing hands all around him and snapping his spine. Of course, she was trying to shut down her protective feelings and emotions altogether, but knowing what the man had done to Luffy and Zoro made her thirst for revenge.

Now they had to leave Water 7 and be safe, or else all she had done would be pointless. Robin was sure with how betrayed they must be feeling that they would leave her to her fate. She forcibly removed her mind from what was sure to become of her after Ennis Lobby and focused on the fact that her crew would be safe.

And the train carried her away.

* * *

><p>Later, she felt the strangest mix of anger and love when she learned that they had followed her. They were fools. Did they have no sense of self-preservation or were they just doggedly convinced of her goodness?<p>

She couldn't even find Usopp's ridiculous disguise amusing. She tried again and again to cut herself off from them, not even escaping with them when she had the chance. Didn't they know they were just making this harder for her? Well, no, obviously they didn't, but didn't they think she'd betrayed them? Why wouldn't they just leave her? Goodness has its limits, although they seemed to be trying to prove that wrong.

But after the train had been split in half she was sure that it was over. Even if they did want to follow her farther, they hardly could now. The only thing that she regretted was that Franky was captive alongside her; he seemed like a kind man who did not deserve the same end as her. She tried to resign herself to her fate.

She was tired - maybe it was good that her life was about to end. And she might have welcomed death, a few months ago. But now she had her Nakama, her family. She was fine - no more than fine - _happy _to die for them, but she'd rather live for them. They'd restored her dream, made her feel as she hadn't in years.

But it would be good to rest, to stop struggling. She could feel at peace knowing her Nakama were safe.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Anyone know what the chapter title's from? Sorry if this wasn't that good. It's more of transition chapter. Poor Robin has some serious trust issues.  
><strong>  
><strong>To Idontreallyhaveaname: Thanks for all your lovely reviews. I am continuing now, but sorry it's been so long.<strong>

**I hope to finish this within a few months.**


	9. Despair and Loathing

**AN/ Um. Don't kill me?**

**I'm so sorry it's been forever. I've been through like seventeen fandoms since I wrote on this fic, and my life's been pretty much insane. I completely forgot about it. I went back and read my old stuff the other and found myself loving the memory of this story (despite not being particularly impressed with year-ago-me's grammar and prose), so here I am to finish it! I've planned the whole thing out and everything! It'll have twelve chapters. Someday, I may also polish the story up. This chapter is widely different (read: better) from the earlier ones. I'm all growed up!**

**Have fun with Robin being sad and morbid!**

* * *

><p>From their conversations, Robin found that she had more in common with the cyborg than she'd realized. She would have preferred to face her death on her own, but she could admit that it was marginally comforting, having someone who understood her life. Understood what it was like, to be told that you didn't have the right to <em>live<em>. She spared enough emotion for the man to feel sorry that he was to die along side her.

She felt strangely at peace with her fate now. Resting in the knowledge that she had done the best that she could for her crewmates allowed her to... not relax, but accept. Accepting that a painful death was coming was difficult, but she had done it in the past. This time it was simply inevitable, but more importantly, _worth it_. She couldn't imagine (couldn't _let_ herself imagine) her Nakama following her any farther, even if they had worked out that she had sacrificed herself for them, so hopefully they were safe. She had seen them do amazing things in her time with them - their luck was staggering - and her deal with CP9 should protect them from the marines. As long as they'd given up on her, her sacrifice wouldn't be in vain.

She didn't even consider what she'd done a sacrifice, when she dwelled on it. After everything they'd done for her - saved her dream, saved _her _in so many ways - this was only her showing gratitude. Besides, they were only in danger because of her. Her useless life and her selfishness - she hadn't been able to separate herself from them. They would be happy and complete without her past hovering over them. She wished that she wasn't cursed so that she could have been happy with the crew, like she had wanted from the moment she joined them, not matter how she had justified it to herself. She put those thoughts aside - they were pointless and caused pain. It was time for her to accept her fate.

Yes, Robin was more than ready for death. Peace. No longer struggling with this world that hated her. If the many various religions were correct, she might even get to see her mother. The archeologists. Saul.

Well, if some religions were right, she would most likely be burning in hell, so she might not be able to appreciate her family there. At least she'd have an eternity to observe rotting and scorched flesh.

* * *

><p>Spandam was a pathetic man and Robin loathed him. So power hungry, so gleeful about the destruction of her island. At least Kuzan had had the barest decency to see it as a necessary evil. The fact that he was likely to be a large part in her death made Robin's stomach burn with a fiery anger, but it was best if she could keep her emotions buried, just for awhile longer.<p>

Any plan resembling that sentiment was completely destroyed when Spandam announced that the Strawhats had still not given up on her. She couldn't bring herself to care that she was showing her weakness to the slimy waste of a man - she had to let out the frustration, the anger, the panic. She barely even noticed Spandam's mocking words over the rush of blood in her ears. All her planning meant nothing now. The _idiots_ had followed her, and now Spandam had gone back on their deal. She knew that she shouldn't be surprised (she'd known for years that honor was only a concept that most people would drop the moment it was convenient to them), but somehow, she'd been so determined that the Strawhats would escape that she'd not allowed herself to see this possibility.

Why? Why wouldn't they just let her go? They were all going to die now! Didn't they see that she wasn't worth it?

The only thought that had been keeping her even marginally calm and sane was ripped away from her now. She had always known she was very intelligent, but what was the use of her brain now? She couldn't think with all these emotions crowding her logic, couldn't plan, _couldn't save them_. All she could do was wait.

* * *

><p>Under any other circumstances, Robin's dignity would be affronted by Franky's... unorthodox escape methods, but now all she could think about was knocking some sense into her crew, her family. She saw Luffy distantly on the rooftop across from the tower of justice, and she wished that she wasn't wearing the seastone handcuffs so she could grow a hand and slap him and then force him to safety herself.<p>

Some part of her was still being selfish, still wanting to be with them. It was pointing out that she had seen them do incredible things - perhaps they could save her, take her with them. Maybe she could return to them and follow her dream. She did her best to tamper that voice. Robin understood what would happen if she left with them - it was what always happened. Eventually they would realize that she wasn't worth all the trouble she caused them - or worse, they would end up dead and she would have to watch. Robin would not allow either of those things to happen.

Spandam began to shout at Luffy about power and the government's prestige. Robin was busy wondering where the rest of the crew were (_please_, she thought, _don't let them be dead_) when she realized that Luffy was barely listening to Spandam at all. He seemed completely unconcerned that the CP9 were chasing him - he was focused on Robin entirely.

_Good_, Robin thought. _Maybe he'll hear me this time, when I tell him to leave me._

The rest of the crew arrived on the roof, and Robin could breathe through her worry. Now she could scream at them with all her might.

* * *

><p><strong>AN I'LL BE BACK.**


	10. Interlude: Wide Open Oceans

**AN/ *Throws up hands* No excuses! I probably shouldn't make promises, given my track record, but I really do mean to finish this thing!** **Yeah, I did a random tense and style change, what of it? It'll go back to normal next chapter, which will totally exist.**

* * *

><p>There's a flag burning.<p>

It was once white, but now the bright orange flames lick at the fabric, and it quickly darkens, turning to ash.

There's a woman, watching it burn with wide eyes, knowing what it means but barely daring to believe it.

There's a part of the woman that is still a small girl, afraid, but holding on to a glimmer of hope. She had lost everything, but still believed she would find her special people, the people who would stop her from being alone.

But the rest of the woman is worldweary. The hope she had harbored has been crushed, and she had been beaten down, left behind and betrayed so very many times. And she cannot accept what has happened right before her eyes.

Her friends stand across from her, far enough away that they look small despite how much they mean to her. She would have done anything, sold herself, done hideous acts, burned the world to the ground, for them. She had given herself to her oldest enemies - those standing behind her, those who would destroy anything for their idea of justice - so she could know they would be safe, and so she would not have to live to see them leave her.

She had underestimated them. She hadn't considered that the insanity, the illogical attachments that she had felt during the time she had with them would be returned. They came for her. They will die for her. They love her. It's almost too much to bear.

And she loves them all so much - the thought that she and her past are dangerous to them hurts her. The taciturn, loyal swordsman, the fierce, gruffly nurturing navigator, the animated, passionate sniper, the chivalrous, ridiculous cook and the timid, sweet doctor and her brave, wonderful captain. She wants to protect them; she fears for them. But she understands now that they feel the same way, and they will _always_ come for her.

There are feelings coursing through her and she feels wild. She feels on the brink of something, like she is about to plunge over. She feels all the dark things, all the niggling doubts, begin to recede. When she looks at her friends, her family, the brave people who are, in return, willing to do anything for her, she feels love and belonging, and at the moment, overwhelming belief.

She believes now, in her dream, in Nakama, in companionship, in her captain.

And so she understands what she must do.

There's a flag burning, juxtaposed with a blue sky and a free ocean wind, and carried on it there is a voice, ringing clear and open for the first time in years.

"I want to live! Take me with you, to the ocean!"


	11. Find Someone To Carry You

Robin had been in many life or death situations in her life. One of her earliest memories was of almost drowning when she had been dragged along with her aunt's family to swim in the ocean. She hadn't eaten in about a day and at four, she couldn't have been expected to make wise choices. When she had found a strange looking fruit washed up on the shore, the pain in her stomach had compelled her to eat it. Even though she'd spit it out quickly, disgusted at its taste, the small amount she'd ingested had been enough to bless her with Devil Fruit powers and curse her by robbing her of the capacity to swim.

Unaware of the changes she had undergone, she'd decided to walk into the ocean.

The sensation of drowning had been strange, particularly since she hadn't even had the ability to move her limbs. All of her strength, as little as she'd had in the first place, had been taken from her. And she knew, even as a four year old, the unlikelihood of anyone coming to help her. The person that was Nico Robin would simply fade away, with very little about the world changing.

When the tide had washed her ashore before she could suffocate, she had fisted sand in her fingers and been happy to live. Despite being alone at that moment, she had known that somewhere, her mother was alive, and that in the tree she could see in the distance, there were kind people who would always spare time to read to her. Knowing that she was important to at least a small few was enough to give her strength. Strength to become smarter, to depend on only herself, and to stay alive for those who loved her.

After the horror of the Buster Call, after watching her world burn, she'd known there was no one who cared about her left. She was lost and isolated in a cruel world that was indifferent to her struggles. But she had still been able to be strong - because she had hope. Hope that she would find the Poneglyphs and uncover the True History, hope that she could bring the World Government to reckoning for what they had done. Hope that Saul was right, that she would find those who would accept her, that she hadn't been born into the world to be alone.

Robin had lived in hope. She ran for her life, begged, stole, lied, manipulated and fought all because there was a small corner of her soul that believed her dream would become reality.

Having hope that someone could care about her had been a more bleak motivation, but Robin still grew stronger, smarter and meaner. She stayed alive. Every time she was betrayed or followed a false lead, another part of her closed off. Her determination to find those who would accept her became surety that she did not need anyone and that the world did not need her.

So when she would find herself in desperate situations with death around the corner, instead of fighting and pledging to live, she had began to accept death, to see it as an end to her suffering. She'd decided that hope was a thing for children, and that no one could ever want her - and sank into despair.

Now she fought with all her being, and she did not even need hope, because she _knew_. She knew that she belonged with the Strawhats, she knew that she was accepted, wanted and loved. Her dream had become real, and that was worth living for.

Knowing that her Nakama were fighting for her made her both elated and worried - although Robin had faith in her friends, she could not bear the thought of them being hurt. Understanding what they were doing for her made her want to fight, but the only action she could take herself was fighting Spandam, buying her crewmates time.

So despite the blows being rained on her, she dug her teeth into the stone of the bridge and waited for her friends to rescue her.

Robin's efforts failed in a matter of time and she was pulled away from the ledge she had stuck to. As she was dragged towards the Gate of Justice, she felt the smallest amount of doubt begin to flicker - if she passed through, would they be able to save her? She renewed her efforts to slip out of her Sea Stone handcuffs, when suddenly one of the nearby marines was struck down. Robin felt her spirits lift, already guessing what that meant.

Looking up, her eyes found Usopp. He was still dressed in his ridiculous get up, but cut a triumphant figure atop the Tower. Even from a mile away, he was shooting down the marines that surrounded her, leaving her unscathed. Faced with this physical show of protection, Robin felt overwhelmed with gratitude.

Quickly her feelings of happiness were crushed when Spandam realized she was close to escaping and ordered the other marines to shoot her. Robin screwed her eyes shut tight and could only think of her crew - they'd done so much to save her, and here she was, about to die.

She waited, expecting pain and darkness, but all that reached her was a metallic thudding sound. She opened her eyes to the sight of Franky, his large, cyborg's body shielding her from harm, and felt like smiling. _Do you see, Saul?_ she thought. _Do you see how many people I have now? You were right; it took along time, but I found the people you said I would. Thank you for saving me, because now I can truly live._

Franky uncuffed her, using one of the keys that Usopp had shot over to them, keys that her Nakama had fought long and hard for. Finally she was free, and looking at her hands, Robin remembered her power. In that moment, she swore to herself that she would survive and be the best she possibly could so that in the future, she could protect them as well.

* * *

><p>When Robin thought back on it later, the next few hours of her life had seemed to go by exceptionally quickly.<p>

Before being released from her cuffs, she'd been powerless - with nothing to do, her mind had flown in every direction and her inability to fight had made every second agonizing. Once she was free, she'd been able to defend herself, to set out and look for her Nakama.

But first she'd taken a pause for revenge - later, when she hadn't been worried for her crewmates, she had snapped Spandam's spine (she'd almost expected that not to work, for how can you snap what isn't in existence?), but in that moment, she'd simply added to his humiliation by slapping him multiple times. Never had violence brought Robin so much peace of mind.

It had felt amazing to search for her friends herself, to find them and fight alongside them. Seeing them mostly unharmed had sent a happy spark through her, but also made her desperate to keep them that way. She'd wanted to wrap them up in her arms - and she could grow so many - and carry them to safety. But seeing them fight capably, feeling Nami's back pressed warmly against hers and hearing the chink of Zoro's swords in the distance let her know that everything was going to be alright.

Hearing Luffy call out to her after he'd won his fight had only confirmed what she already knew: they were a family, one that would not stop their journey for the will of other men, governments or even inexorable odds.

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><p>Even after that, things weren't easy. They were rescued by the Merry, but at the price of having to watch one of their precious Nakama burn. Robin had felt guilty during the funeral; she hadn't been in the crew as long as the others, and had never been one to get attached to inanimate objects, so hadn't felt like the others did. She even hadn't been there when the ship was declared unfit for sailing. In fact, she hadn't realized that Luffy and Usopp had had a falling out until she pieced it together from their behavior. It dimmed her newfound contentment.<p>

Knowing Merry was sentient and cared for them was a shock, one that had brought her to the edge of tears for what had felt like the thousandth time that day.

And despite her joy at being reunited with the crew, on the way back to Water 7, she'd felt a part of her clench in worry, because Usopp was still dressed as Sogeking and Luffy's smiles weren't quite as wide as they had once been.

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><p>But her worries, as they had so often been of late, were unfounded. Alongside the rest of the crew, she watched the captain officially accept the sniper back into the crew. Robin smiled affectionately as Luffy and Usopp collapsed against one another. They were too adorable for words, and it was wonderful to have everyone together again - everyone, and Franky, who'd brought the Sunny along with him for good measure. Robin couldn't be more grateful.<p>

And with a Coup de Burst, they were off into the blue ocean yet again.

After exploring the ship with Nami, Robin found herself up in the crows nest, watching as the others slipped back into their old routines - as Robin herself was dojng, she supposed. Luffy and Usopp were fishing off the side of the ship but seemed to be snacking on their bait, Chopper was chatting with Franky while Nami sunbathed. Sanji exited from the galley with a smoothie, but (possibly deliberately) tripped over the napping swordsman, who shouted "Oi!" and went for his swords. Robin didn't try to stop a smile from spreading over her face.

It grew even wider when she heard Luffy shout, "Hey Robin! Come down and talk to me!"

Robin climbed down from the crows nest, reflecting that she would probably find herself in troubled times again - how could she not, with friends like these? - but she knew that she would always make it through them. With her family. She no longer had to struggle against an uncaring world alone, or save herself from drowning, because they would always be there to pull her out of the water.

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><p><strong>AN After the first line break, I was tempted to leave the chapter, because it's very much its own arc, but for one, I'd promised myself to put out a long (er, comparatively) chapter, and two, it would be hard to fit that in with what I have in mind for the next chapter.**

**See you then! Happy Thanksgiving to all us Americans out there!**


	12. Together Alone

Robin sipped her tea, inwardly cursing as her hand shook when she placed the cup back on the saucer. She tried to take a deep breath without letting on that she was doing so. It would not do to lose her composure in a carriage with a strange man who worked for the most wanted man in the world.

Still, Robin's mind worked frantically and her emotions were going haywire. What was her captain going through at this very moment? He'd lost a brother right before his eyes, one that he was very devoted to. Robin didn't have any siblings herself, but she knew the sting and ache of loss all to well. She should be there with him at this very moment, to provide comfort and any help that she could.

She thought of Luffy's face, right before she'd been sent flying away by Kuma. All their other crew mates were already gone, the two remaining having only wild guesses as to their fate. She'd never seen him like that, in her whole time being with the crew. He usually exuded happy self-assurance and convinced the people around him that, despite his silly, at times devoid of intelligence actions, he could accomplish whatever he set his mind to. The disbelief and desperation etched on his features as his Nakama disappeared one by one had been enough to fill her with dread; if Luffy had lost hope, how could she hold on to her own?

Still, when she had found herself deposited safely on a winter island, she had been immensely relieved. Despite her own predicament, she had known that she would do all in her power to return to Sabaody Archipelago, and that her crew mates would do the same. She'd also had good reason to think they had landed safely on islands of their own - considering that the world was 95% water, it was statistically unlikely that she would have landed on solid ground if she'd been sent out at random, and based on several of Kuma's comments, it seemed as though he had been trying to help them, in his own twisted way.

So when she'd gone with the men from the Revolutionary Army, she'd been in no particular rush, having faith that her Nakama would all be alright. She'd wanted to spend some time at least with the organization - she'd admired their work for years, and shared their hatred of the World Government.

But now... Not just an hour ago, she had been laughing to herself that she doubted Luffy would be able to stay out of trouble. And he hadn't, in a way that was not at all comical.

Simply looking at the pictures in the newspaper was enough to break her heart. The blood, the dumbstruck look on Luffy's face. The fact that it was reported that he'd gone into a catatonic state after seeing his brother die. Someone like Luffy, who was so simple and put so much value into the lives of his Nakama, should not have had to go through such an ordeal, but at the very least, he should not have to go through it alone.

Robin thought back to all the months she had spent in the Strawhat Crew: the incredible things they'd seen and done together, the simple joys they'd enjoyed together. Facing down Admirals and Shichibukai, saving one another's lives, getting closer and closer to their dreams, all the while taking time to laugh, walk down beaches and eat well-cooked meals. She remembered what her life had been before them, and how they'd given her meaning and happiness.

She thought of Luffy, and his determination to bring her back to his crew even when she'd seemingly betrayed him, his willingness to take on the world for her. She thought of his bravery and spirit, and how they simply had not been enough for him this time.

She wanted nothing more in the world than to be with him, that very instant, so she could return to him all the happiness he had brought her.

Clenching her fist, Robin resolved herself; she needed to leave the Revolutionaries as soon as possible. She had a captain to support.

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><p>It was lucky that Robin saw the next news story involving Luffy before she got the chance to set out for Sabaody Archipelago.<p>

A single look at Luffy's tattoo told her what she needed to know. She breathed a sigh of relief at all the new article implied. Luffy was healing, emotionally and physically, able to pay tribute to his brother and declare war on the World Government - again - and send a message to his Nakama.

_Yes, my captain_, Robin thought, looking at the words sprawled on his arm. After what he had gone through, it made so much sense for him to want to get stronger, for him to want them all to get stronger. If they couldn't even make it to the New World without being defeated, how would they ever accomplish their dreams? How would Zoro become the strongest swordsman if his crew could not carry him everywhere? How could Nami draw a map of islands she was unable to reach? Usopp could hardly be considered a Brave Warrior of the Sea if he couldn't traverse the entirety of it, and besides, she was fairly sure Elbaf was in the New World. Sanji needed to look everywhere for All Blue, after all, and Chopper would need to catalogue diseases unique to every sea. Robin herself had the Poneglyphs leading her to that dangerous ocean, and Franky needed to stay with the dream ship he had built as it traversed the world. Brooke was taking a route around the circumference of the globe that would reunite him with his precious Laboon.

Most importantly of all, the One Piece was out there somewhere, and their captain was going to become the Pirate King. They had to be able to face any challenge.

And Robin didn't like to think of it, but she was sure Luffy was afraid of anything like what had happened at Sabaody happening again - or what had happened to Ace.

_It won't_, Robin thought, staring at a picture of Luffy. _I will do anything in my power to prevent something like that from happening to you again. I will protect you, my beloved captain, and all our other crew mates as well._

In her heart, Robin knew that out there somewhere, her friends were all making the same vow, or they would as soon as they saw the message. She wished she was with them - it was going to be a long two years - but she comforted herself with the knowledge that, when she saw them again, they would all have grown in strength. Nami and Usopp, she hoped, will have grown into power and confidence - all she hoped for Chopper was that he would not be damnably, painfully young. (If it was up to her, he would never enter battle, despite his pride.) She imagined Franky making all sorts of modifications to his own body, since he would not have Sunny to work on, and Brooke learning all sorts of new techniques and songs. Zoro, she had no doubt, would devote every minute to becoming exactly the swordsman Luffy needed, and Sanji, not to be outdone even when separated from his rival, would do the same.

When they saw Luffy again - well. Robin was going to have plenty of time to worry about the long-term effects of his ordeal, but she knew he was going to have become stronger, so strong that no one he loved was ever going to slip away from him again.

Robin was going to miss them all, but for now, she needed to focus on getting stronger and better herself. She was not going to waste a second with the Revolutionaries - she was going to learn everything about the World Government and the movements of pirates, plus any miscellaneous knowledge she could pick up. If Chopper could experiment with the usage of his Devil Fruit, so could she - perhaps the limitations she thought there was to it were not as set in stone as she thought.

By the time she met her crew mates again, Robin was going to be the best version of herself possible.

Besides she was looking forward to meeting Luffy's father.

Robin looked out across the sea, and smiled a little. If she was to be separated from her second family for two years, she was going to make the most of the time she had.

_Until I see you again_, she thought, feeling a small ache in her chest, and turned around to speak to a nearby Revolutionary.

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><p><strong>AN Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, and favoriting! You're all the best! Hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing.**


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